The old gray mare she ain't what she used to be.
I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream.
Come oh Lord and Be Our Guest prayer at meals but in German which she did not speak
Oh dear, bread and beer, if I were dead I wouldn't be here.
I'm no spring chicken!
I'm Hell on Friday...her students used to call her that I think as her first name was Helen
My favorite saying was, "If you don't laugh you'll go crazy!". I always thought it was funny because Grandma was pretty much crazy. Maybe she was giving us permission to just go ahead and laugh, it was ok. We took her advice and did laugh a lot. Laugh or go crazy, right? Maybe we laughed at her expense some of the time but she didn't know the difference and for goodness sake we were her family and going a little crazy ourselves. My brother had a knack for creating hilarity with Grandma. He got her to stand to attention while he marched around with a Russian military hat on and slapped a long dowel in his hand as if he was Colonel Klink from Hogan's Heroes.
Sometimes the contrast to Grandma's former self made her actions funny. She used to be a classy lady who only a few years back volunteered through the Lion's Club as a Lioness, always had her hair done and lipstick on, went to church every week, and was always kind and cheerful whenever I saw her. The person she was with Alzheimer's was often times completely different than her former self. One time Mom found Grandma wearing a bra on her head like a hat and red gloves like slippers. Mom was laughing so hard she was crying.
So we laughed at Grandma. Go ahead and criticize us. But until you are in the same position caring for an Alzheimer's patient full time you have no right. Laughing is part of surviving life. But occasionally we had the rare pleasure of laughing at the reaction of people who were experiencing the definition of Alzheimer's for the first time right in our home. My mom usually invited guests for Christmas Eve dinner. She went all out for holidays and Christmas Eve was one of my favorite times of the year growing up. The table was set with fancy china, crystal goblets, and mom's best silver. A special oyster stew we only had for Christmas was the first course of the meal. Everyone was served the piping hot soup. Something you have to be slightly careful of when using real silver for silverware is that it conducts heat rapidly. Well, before we knew it Grandma was starting on her soup and declaring loud and clear, "That's hotter than hell!". What? What did my grandmother just say in front of all of us and these nice people from our church? We were shocked and I had no idea whether to laugh or not. Our guests weren't laughing. Somebody quickly got Grandma a bowl of ice cream and she was quiet for most of the meal until she was taken back upstairs "to rest". Oh man we laughed once our guests left. That night was the first time we had ever heard Grandma swear. Another time my brother had some friends over to spend the night. The boys were about fifteen years old and goofing around in his bedroom, talking about girls, eating snacks, and then they finally quieted down to get some sleep. All of a sudden Grandma started in on her nightly routine of moaning. Keep in mind it was dark. Grandma's door was locked from the outside to keep her safe from wandering around the house and falling. Most nights she had a hard time falling to sleep and would talk loudly. "Where ammmm I?" One of the boys was startled and said, "What was that?" "What?", my brother asked. "Didn't you hear that?", the boy said. Grandma called out again. "That!", the boy said. My brother played along for a few minutes and I was trying not to laugh out loud in my bedroom down the hall. My brother's friends were starting to freak out a little thinking there was some kind of banshee living in our 1840's farm house.
There were plenty of things Grandma did that, when I was telling friends late,r they found hilarious but I did not. There was the time Grandma dumped her jewelry box full of costume jewelry pins, necklaces, and clip on earrings down into the toilet. I heard a loud noise and came running. Since I was first on the scene I had the privilege of fishing every single piece out of the toilet before Grandma flushed it. My sister thought that was pretty funny. After Grandma died my mom gifted those pieces of jewelry to various cousins. I wonder if they knew where the "jewels" had been. Guess who's laughing now?
One of Grandma's favorite treats was cordial cherries. A family member living out of state sent her a box in the mail. Mom put the box in Grandma's sitting room where she had a small table with two chairs and ate most of her meals. The cherries would be handy for dessert, wouldn't Grandma like that? Well, Alzheimer's or not, Grandma remembered where those cherries were and the next morning that nice big box was empty and Grandma's face was covered in chocolate. Funny? Yes, in the moment, but not so funny a day later when the cherries were exiting her system. All. Day. Long.
We all took turns watching Grandma even my youngest sister who was only ten when Grandma moved in with us. Maybe this was not the best idea to have a child helping but after all this was our home life now. She had friends over once and they were playing school and there Grandma was "in school" with the girls. I thought it was funny. This was our strange new normal at home. Imagine what the little friends told their parents when they got home.
Grandma had some funny reactions to situations besides swearing. We had chores to be done and one of those was mowing our huge lawn. It would take hours even with a ride on mower. When you're home on a weekend keeping track of a grandma you can't exactly just sit inside all day. Maybe Grandma would enjoy some fresh air sitting outside while you mow the grass? But we found out quickly that she did NOT like sitting in the middle of the yard that was covered in dandelions. She thought the dandelions were beautiful flowers she was walking on and that we were trampling with the mower. At the time we just had to laugh. All those precious dandelions!
Care-giving had it's special brand of humorous situations. My younger sister and I seemed to bond over these experiences when my parents were out of town and we were the full time care-givers. Before grandma was using diapers we had her sit on the toilet once a week after being given a suppository. This is just life, the ugly truth of taking care of someone who no longer understands her own bodily functions. So while my parents were away Mom had a friend, who was a nurse, come over to administer the weekly suppository. Well, grandma decided she wasn't going on the pot. I've seen toddlers like this but a full grown person? After a whole week of not doing her business? This was a job that needed to be done. Our friend put her on the toilet but Grandma was holding back not doing anything. I was called in to assist. What did we usually do? Did I have any ideas? So there we were half yelling due to Grandma's bad hearing, coaching her to move her bowels. I'm laughing as I write this, remembering this lady mimicking how to bear down. Oh my! And the sound effects to demonstrate. How could we do all of this without laughing?
Laughter is a medicine. It helps keep things light when life is just plain hard. It helps you to not take things quite so seriously and snap into pieces because there are so many things that are crushing you. Do you love the fact that you are a care-giver? Do you love the difficult things life throws your way? Maybe finding some humor in it all will help. Remember, laugh or you'll go crazy.
Sometimes the contrast to Grandma's former self made her actions funny. She used to be a classy lady who only a few years back volunteered through the Lion's Club as a Lioness, always had her hair done and lipstick on, went to church every week, and was always kind and cheerful whenever I saw her. The person she was with Alzheimer's was often times completely different than her former self. One time Mom found Grandma wearing a bra on her head like a hat and red gloves like slippers. Mom was laughing so hard she was crying.
So we laughed at Grandma. Go ahead and criticize us. But until you are in the same position caring for an Alzheimer's patient full time you have no right. Laughing is part of surviving life. But occasionally we had the rare pleasure of laughing at the reaction of people who were experiencing the definition of Alzheimer's for the first time right in our home. My mom usually invited guests for Christmas Eve dinner. She went all out for holidays and Christmas Eve was one of my favorite times of the year growing up. The table was set with fancy china, crystal goblets, and mom's best silver. A special oyster stew we only had for Christmas was the first course of the meal. Everyone was served the piping hot soup. Something you have to be slightly careful of when using real silver for silverware is that it conducts heat rapidly. Well, before we knew it Grandma was starting on her soup and declaring loud and clear, "That's hotter than hell!". What? What did my grandmother just say in front of all of us and these nice people from our church? We were shocked and I had no idea whether to laugh or not. Our guests weren't laughing. Somebody quickly got Grandma a bowl of ice cream and she was quiet for most of the meal until she was taken back upstairs "to rest". Oh man we laughed once our guests left. That night was the first time we had ever heard Grandma swear. Another time my brother had some friends over to spend the night. The boys were about fifteen years old and goofing around in his bedroom, talking about girls, eating snacks, and then they finally quieted down to get some sleep. All of a sudden Grandma started in on her nightly routine of moaning. Keep in mind it was dark. Grandma's door was locked from the outside to keep her safe from wandering around the house and falling. Most nights she had a hard time falling to sleep and would talk loudly. "Where ammmm I?" One of the boys was startled and said, "What was that?" "What?", my brother asked. "Didn't you hear that?", the boy said. Grandma called out again. "That!", the boy said. My brother played along for a few minutes and I was trying not to laugh out loud in my bedroom down the hall. My brother's friends were starting to freak out a little thinking there was some kind of banshee living in our 1840's farm house.
There were plenty of things Grandma did that, when I was telling friends late,r they found hilarious but I did not. There was the time Grandma dumped her jewelry box full of costume jewelry pins, necklaces, and clip on earrings down into the toilet. I heard a loud noise and came running. Since I was first on the scene I had the privilege of fishing every single piece out of the toilet before Grandma flushed it. My sister thought that was pretty funny. After Grandma died my mom gifted those pieces of jewelry to various cousins. I wonder if they knew where the "jewels" had been. Guess who's laughing now?
One of Grandma's favorite treats was cordial cherries. A family member living out of state sent her a box in the mail. Mom put the box in Grandma's sitting room where she had a small table with two chairs and ate most of her meals. The cherries would be handy for dessert, wouldn't Grandma like that? Well, Alzheimer's or not, Grandma remembered where those cherries were and the next morning that nice big box was empty and Grandma's face was covered in chocolate. Funny? Yes, in the moment, but not so funny a day later when the cherries were exiting her system. All. Day. Long.
We all took turns watching Grandma even my youngest sister who was only ten when Grandma moved in with us. Maybe this was not the best idea to have a child helping but after all this was our home life now. She had friends over once and they were playing school and there Grandma was "in school" with the girls. I thought it was funny. This was our strange new normal at home. Imagine what the little friends told their parents when they got home.
Grandma had some funny reactions to situations besides swearing. We had chores to be done and one of those was mowing our huge lawn. It would take hours even with a ride on mower. When you're home on a weekend keeping track of a grandma you can't exactly just sit inside all day. Maybe Grandma would enjoy some fresh air sitting outside while you mow the grass? But we found out quickly that she did NOT like sitting in the middle of the yard that was covered in dandelions. She thought the dandelions were beautiful flowers she was walking on and that we were trampling with the mower. At the time we just had to laugh. All those precious dandelions!
Care-giving had it's special brand of humorous situations. My younger sister and I seemed to bond over these experiences when my parents were out of town and we were the full time care-givers. Before grandma was using diapers we had her sit on the toilet once a week after being given a suppository. This is just life, the ugly truth of taking care of someone who no longer understands her own bodily functions. So while my parents were away Mom had a friend, who was a nurse, come over to administer the weekly suppository. Well, grandma decided she wasn't going on the pot. I've seen toddlers like this but a full grown person? After a whole week of not doing her business? This was a job that needed to be done. Our friend put her on the toilet but Grandma was holding back not doing anything. I was called in to assist. What did we usually do? Did I have any ideas? So there we were half yelling due to Grandma's bad hearing, coaching her to move her bowels. I'm laughing as I write this, remembering this lady mimicking how to bear down. Oh my! And the sound effects to demonstrate. How could we do all of this without laughing?
Laughter is a medicine. It helps keep things light when life is just plain hard. It helps you to not take things quite so seriously and snap into pieces because there are so many things that are crushing you. Do you love the fact that you are a care-giver? Do you love the difficult things life throws your way? Maybe finding some humor in it all will help. Remember, laugh or you'll go crazy.
No comments:
Post a Comment