Thursday, November 30, 2017

On the Other side of the Wall: Survivor

   We live in the land of The Survivor these days. Wrist bands and T-shirts walk around advertising those still standing after battling disease. We walk and run and bicycle and swim to support the cause for those fighting who will be the next batch of survivors. I want to awaken the planet to notice a survivor that has been fighting and giving and shedding tears. She has been sacrificing her time and spending her last bit of energy. She has to keep it up every day. How about a T-shirt that says I Survived Care-giving? How about a wrist band that says I Support the Care-Giver? How about Care-giver Awareness Month when anyone who cares for a loved one in their home gets a free massage, or manicure, or pumpkin-spiced latte or hey what about a pat on the back? How about that? I would personally order a box of T-shirts for my own family. What would the shirts say? Maybe "I Survived Alzheimer's and Went a Little Crazy", or "Where AM I" because Grandma used to say that the most over and over all day. Maybe the wrist-bands would have one of Grandma's favorite sayings while she had Alzheimer's: "Laugh or You'll Go Crazy!"
   I think I'm tired of the care-giver going through her fight with disease quietly unapplauded. She is noticed but not enough for people to help much or care much about her own personal struggles day in and day out; night in and night out. Family members who live far away send their aging mother a set of towels or a box of her favorite cherry cordials or a fifty dollar check to cover the cost of a new night gown or bathrobe. But what about a fresh flower arrangement once a month with a card that reads, "Thanks for taking care of Mom. You're amazing!" What if the care-giver's church sent some ladies to the house to sit with the Alzheimer's patient so the care-giver could go out on a date with her spouse and not worry about paying someone to be there for two hours? What about more people just plain old saying something to encourage the care-giver once in a while? Things like, "You're doing a great job, Your mother is blessed to have you, Are you taking care of yourself?" Wouldn't it be great if her closest friends vowed to take care of HER and shared in pampering that care-giver every now and then because she won't do that for herself?
   The flip side to support is that we all have to carry our own burdens for the most part. Even with the most supportive community around us, at the end of the day we all have to pick up where we left off and keep carrying the responsibilities that are waiting on the other side of our front door when we get home. But what would it be like if there was always someone knocking at that same door with a T-shirt that said, "Here to Help" or "Smile! You're Not Alone"?