On the Other Side of the Wall: Early Days

One of the hardest parts of Alzheimer’s Disease is how long and drawn out it can be. Yes, we had observed the slow decline of Grandma’s overall health but the early signs of dementia we missed. Mom asked Grandpa when he noticed for the first time that something was not quite right, that there could be something serious going on with Grandma. When did he think her Alzheimer’s started for her? He said when she was 71 and they were on a trip and she all of a sudden had no idea where she was. He was shocked but let it go. For Grandma Alzheimer’s began as confusion or sudden forgetfulness. Over the course of ten years I lost my real Grandma. When I think of her during my childhood and early teen years I remember little square calendars she would let me take home from her house. I can smell the juicy Thanksgiving turkey she carved at the kitchen counter while she and I secretly sampled the best pieces together. She always wore bright lipstick and her black hair was curled under. On Easter she gave my siblings, my cousins and I beautiful brightly colored Easter baskets with chocolate bunnies, plastic eggs with quarters and dollar bills inside, jelly beans, and yellow marshmallow peeps. Her garden was filled with pink peonies, bleeding heart plants, and purple phlox. There was a tall white trellis at the entrance with climbing red roses. She proudly gave us tours, pointing out each flower when we came to visit. Grandma had a small birthday book to remember all of our special days and every year she asked me for a birthday and Christmas wish list. One time when I was in first grade she came to my school and gave a “talk” about her extensive butterfly collection. Grandma was generous and intelligent. She was a sweet lady to me as a little girl but by the time I was sixteen she couldn’t remember the basic details of her own life. Eventually Grandpa did take Grandma to the doctor to find out what in the world was wrong with her. But he never held a family meeting to let us all know about her diagnosis. It was a private matter until mom was downstairs in the basement with Grandpa one day and she finally asked the big question: “What is going on with mom?” And he answered, “Alzheimer’s”. That was that.