I've struggled on and off with the lack of connection I've felt to the Bible as a woman of faith. Since the Bible is the foundation of my faith as a Christ follower, I have felt disappointed on occasion with its lack of relevance to women. So, I take notice when something strikes a chord with me. Recently, I was listening to a pastor speak about John the Baptist from the book of Matthew. What he said about John's character seemed inaccurate. So, I took a closer look at the book of Matthew and that's when I started to see and experience a new connection to Jesus.
John the Baptist was Jesus's cousin. How I see it, they were close because their mothers were close. Mary hurried (Luke 1:39) to John's mother Elizabeth when she found out she was expecting the Christ-child before her marriage to Joseph. She trusted Elizabeth enough to share her dangerous truth. When both expectant mothers met for the first time since they had become pregnant, the baby leapt in Elizabeth's womb. Then Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. These women were bound together in the strange plight of mothering boys who would change the world forever. Later as Jesus was entering his ministry he came to John, his cousin, to be baptized. He could have gone to a leader in the the Jewish community but he went to John. When important things are about to happen, Jesus and John are together. They are family and chosen by God to fulfill His plan.
Eventually, John is imprisoned for speaking out against the immoral King Herod and Jesus is busy healing people, raising the dead, and preaching good news to the poor. ((Matthew 11:1-6) John is wondering if Jesus is going to come or should he expect someone else. To do what exactly? To break him out of prison? To bring down the criminals in the government? But Jesus does not go to John. He continues doing what He was here to do. Jesus sends a message to John with the details of what He is doing and the last sentence is a sort of apology and a blessing for John if he does not loose faith. He continues rescuing people, but Jesus chooses to not rescue his cousin. Even though Jesus was God in the flesh he was still human and had to obey the will of His Father. He knew the danger John was in, yet He did not intervene. The Bible doesn't go into any details of what this was like for Jesus, but I can only imagine it was probably one of the most difficult experiences of heart Jesus ever had to endure. What does it feel like to have all the power in your hands to save your own cousin from an unjust death and not help, to not be there at all? This was God's plan. Or maybe it was the plan of the evil rulers of that period of history which God would eventually turn into good for the world. Eventually, the inevitable happened. John was beheaded in prison.
Jesus hears the news of John's death and what does He do? He gets into a boat alone and rows or paddles or sails away from it all and heads to a secluded place. (Matthew 14:13) Yes. This speaks to me. I see you Jesus in your humanity, in your grief. There are no words (to my knowledge) in the Bible that speak about this. And maybe it's because there are no words. Period. A family member dying alone in a prison. I see you Jesus dealing with that. Knowing it was going to happen, dreading the hour, knowing you can't be there to comfort or help or rescue. I see you Jesus. I've been there too Jesus. The prison was a hospital and it was my mother there alone, unjustly kept from her family. I know the struggle and pain of being kept away and having to continue to do all the usual things I was meant to be doing. And I see this moment when you get into a boat. Alone. Privately. You head to the water. And breathe.
As soon as Jesus is away from it all the crowds follow Him on foot. They could see Him from a distance trying to be alone just for a while. When He comes ashore they are there waiting with all of their needs and He has compassion on them. (Matthew 14:14) He could've gotten back in the boat and said He was grieving and worn out, but He instead heals the sick. I see you here Jesus. Tired. Grieving. Needing to be alone on the shore but people are there needing you to help them. When life is hard, time does not stop, as much as I would like it to, just for a day. Instead the people you love still need you to meet their needs. Evening comes and they are in a remote place. Everyone is hungry. Jesus's close friends are ready to send the people back to town for food. But Jesus, weary from grief and caring for thousands of people all day, makes dinner. And not just for Himself. He makes 5,000 dinners. Oh yes, every mom can relate to this. And if Jesus kept it simple then we can too but the dinners still need to be made. Even the 4,456th dinner. Thankfully, the disciples each had a leftover basket to take home. No lunches to make the next day!
After eating dinner, Jesus sends the disciples away in the boat while He stays to dismiss the crowd. Once He sends each one on their way, He finally gets a while to Himself up on the mountainside. (Matthew14:22-23) Does He take a nap or build a campfire? No. He prays. Jesus shows us what to do when there are thousands of meals to make, sick ones to care for, relatives to grieve, teaching, and helping to be done. It's time to get alone and pray. It's time to send people on their way and get close with The Father. Alone.
In the next part of the chapter Jesus walks on water to meet the disciples. There are still more lessons to teach His friends about what faith really means. For me, the lessons in this section are about seeing Jesus. So many times I want God to see me, to meet me, to help me in my daily stresses. But, maybe God wants me to see more of Him, to understand that He came as a human to lead the way so that when life is hard I know He's been there too and He understands what it's like. He cares. He knows.
photo credit: alexander andrews
