The day Grandma came to live with us we were not prepared for what life would be like with her and Alzheimer's Disease in our house day in and day out. There was no timeline to go by. We had no idea how long she would be with us. There was just the realization that Grandpa was no longer able to care for her on his own. We had the space at home and my mom's nursing experience to lean on. My parents just sort of jumped into the care-giving pond with one thing to keep them afloat: it was the right thing to do. They had no idea how Alzheimer's would change us. They certainly had very little idea of what life would be like every day at home with Alzheimer's Disease roaming around.
Annoyances
All of the daily annoyances with Grandma around make me cringe even now years later. Grandpa tolerated these frustrations on his own for years. He didn't think us kids could handle the constant irritations. He was right. It drove us crazy hearing Grandma muttering all day long her usual line of questions like "Where am I?", "Nat is that you?", "When is Nat coming?", "Where's my key?". She was essentially lost all day every day, trying to find her way home to Nat, my grandfather. After several months she became more settled at our house but those first few months the constant questions were terribly annoying.
Communicating
It was a challenge trying to communicate with Grandma. She had been hard of hearing while my Dad was growing up so her hearing was questionable now that she was in her eighties. We tried writing directions on cards. SIT DOWN. BE QUIET. She needed a break from all the pacing and questioning and so did we. We had to speak loudly and clearly to get her to understand. The understanding would last for a few minutes and then she was back to asking where she was.
Giving Directions
Since she was essentially lost all the time we had to give her directions for everything. We thought early on that she could go to the bathroom on her own. But she needed directions on how to get there every time. When she came out of the bathroom her stockings would be down at her ankles. So one of us had to take her to the bathroom and then give her directions on how to pull her clothes back on when she was finished. Getting dressed, going to the bathroom, showering, staying in bed at night, eating, sitting down, putting on her shoes all required directions.
Safety
Our old farmhouse dating back to the 1860's had some unusual qualities that became safety issues for Grandma. Since the house was large, it was not always obvious if a "safety rule" had been forgotten. Her bedroom suite complete with a bathroom and sitting room was on the second floor at the top of a steep staircase. There was an additional staircase in the floor of the sitting room which was very dangerous if left open. We were not perfect at keeping all of our safety measures in play but we did our best to remember to close the stairway, keep shoes put away, and doors closed. Eventually, we were forced to lock Grandma in her living space with a latch on the outside of the door. If she was upstairs she had to be locked in to keep her from wandering and falling down the stairs.
Meals
My mom came up with a menu for Grandma that stayed consistent for nearly the whole time she lived with us. Since it was the same meal plan every day, it was easy to know what to prepare. This is super helpful if multiple family members are sharing the load of care-giving. All of her foods were soft or blended up to omit any choking hazards. Serving Grandma her meals upstairs allowed us to eat our own meals in peace and as a family.
Daily Survival
Care-giving in your home is challenging but Alzheimer's Disease brings with it a whole truck load of daily challenges that are unique. Taking time to analyze what the every day issues are for your family will help. There is no prognosis to measure the time Alzheimer's will be in your home so how are you going to survive living daily with Alzheimer's ?
